'Nightmares Child'

It would appear that I've found myself here again, the second post for tonight that must be some kind of record or something (a lame record). I guess, i have a lot on my mind tonight. Well i don't guess, i know i do have a lot on my mind. Apparently this whole talking to myself on a public scale thing is working, sort of....
So here i go again ('i kind of wanna be more than friends' /stupidsong)

First things first, this blog currently has no title. Which is appropriate because usually i write the titles before anything else. However, tonight I'm so indecisive it's fitting that i can't think up a working title right now. I suppose it might come to me during the course of this post (or not, whatever).
What did i do today? i hear you asking. How kind of you... Today i worked, which can account for part of this weird mood I'm in. The other parts are too numerous and confusing for anyone to comprehend so let's just not even begin.
Instead i thought I'd share something personal with you, something i haven't done in a long time so please, please be kind (or at least be kinder than i am on myself).
A poem....

As i sit, as i wait
Can you hear me? Shut the gate.
Turn around, count to ten,
pray good child, let night begin.
I can walk, barely run
Shoes and laces all undone. 
I can't hear you
Are you shouting?
Why the silence, ever mounting?
Up the path, across the lake
You can't see these scars don't ache.
I am broken, i am done,
something whispers 'run, child, run.'
Cold hands grasping,
Red runs through,
The ground lay still now, this day anew.

~~<3~~~

Yeah, that sucked. Whatever. I had it titled 'Nightmares Child' it's something i wrote once, feels sort of appropriate (underneath the cheesy rhymes and badly flowing prose) .
Right now, I'm terrified. It's not rational fear, it's fear of the unknown. I'm really struggling with that lately (yes, i know everyone is uneasy about the unknown, but this is taking it to a whole new level i promise you).
I'm scared; do you hear me?!
I'm fucking terrified.
I feel like I'm sinking under a tonne of quicksand and it's sucking me under, i can't breathe. I sure as hell can't think straight. (I'm oddly reminded of Atreyu being sucked into the Swamp of Sadness in the Neverending Story - that is me, I'm the dead horse).
My feelings are all messed up, my head is just bluuuh. I'm so confused, i wish someone could just tell me what it is i want to do!!! WHAT IS MY PURPOSE HERE? Do you know how difficult it is to live, when you perceive your life as meaningless.
The only thing, and i mean the ONLY THING that gives my life meaning is you. Don't leave.

/sigh
Sorry for the awful prose, you guys.

In case you were curious (you totally were, weren't you?), i still can't think of a title for this, so I'm going to sit here a while and think up something witty (it won't be witty).

-ShadowFigment [not a poet] <3